I could have a crush on someone
It would be simple and uncomplicated
Nothing complex, well, I'm not that complex
And I'd forget about it six months later
Am I the sort who is easily moved
But could say you were cool and be chill and be smooth?
Oh man
You forget who you're talking to

And now it's six months later
And I hang on every word you say
Which is easy as, by your admission,
You don't talk a lot anyway
I know that we don't see each other much
Which is fine, I can't tell you that I long for your touch
Or maybe, forget who I was talking to

And if you didn't exist
Would I have willed you into being?
I try to write you down
And it's like you're already receding
And it's nice you try to keep up
But you know I'm just really trying
I am jealous of your fanbase
They're not into you the way that I am

And before you, I loved someone
Who would tell me I'm his wild honey
Invented languages in his sandpit
Let his brothers have their drugs and their money
I distinctly recall all the weeks on the beach
But when surf was up it recedes out of reach
And I guess that will be us too

(And this is the part of the song where I try to migrate the narrative two months forward, into the present. From the person I was back then to the person I am now. Already I barely remember last season, the memories slip through my hands like ghosts. What the fuck was I thinking? Why did I decide to write this?

I fill the gaps with lies and cutesy references - a film we never saw, a meal we never ate, a dance we never did - and the audience can't even tell whether the part where I tell them I'm lying is actually the part where I'm lying most. A metatextual gag. This is the cue for getting back to the rest of the song.)

And what else is on?
Who else makes things I'd be into?
What else is on?
Fuck, was it really that simple?
I barely think of you
Look at the stream through the window
This is how it ends
Not with a bang, but a whimper

Ooooh weeeee oooooh, oooh woooo, oooh oooh (etc)